Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
