ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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