I just made out with a guy for $7.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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