Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
