Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
