god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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