My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
