listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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