No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
