Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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