Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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