took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize