so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
