Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he shaved USA in his pubs
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
