508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
