Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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