I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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