New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
