real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize