You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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