So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
