And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
