you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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