So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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