HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
