Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
