you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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