i can't believe i had my finger in that
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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