nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
