Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
