He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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