K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
