Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
