Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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