dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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