I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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