I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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