real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
