She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
handjob tips. give me some.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
