ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
