So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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