is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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