not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm passing your future prison.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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