Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
