I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
