Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
