i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
