Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
