tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
