in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
