My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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