I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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