He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
