There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
