i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize