Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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