I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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