what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
