This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just found a bag of teeth...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
