I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
